Mixed Up

I can't explain how I feel right now I know that I've been feeling depress lately it's been four months now. I'm not doing something about it yet I'm alarmed that my family notice it. It affects me a lot I continue to ask guidance from God that he gave me the strength to go on. I'm counting the days and keep on thinking that things will get better soon. Now that I turned thirty I plan to change my routine I must make a way to have more time with God, Reflect a lot and to learn how to love myself more. I just got to think of happy thoughts anyway for me to avoid feeling lonely. I know that happiness is just a state of mind yet when things just keeps getting rough everyday I can't help it but breakdown. I have to endure this or else as I always say I will end up a loser. I don't want to give up I have fought a lot of battles in life and won a lot of it. I've been through painful and difficult moments and learned a lot of lesson from it.Now that I have come too far I believe that It is not definitely the time to end up everything besides I know things will not last forever. Looking back at the life that I have lived I can say that I have survived. I pass the test and now I know in this new battle I'm in I would surpass and resolve it.

Forgiveness

Forgiving someone is sometimes hard to do but we just got to do it in order not to break the bond but sometimes when pain and hatred gets along the way forgiveness is really hard to do. I've been suffering from this struggle for three years but when I finally learned to let go of it and free myself from the hurt and pain inside It feels good to let go and forgive the people who have cause me pain and disappointment.I've been feeling guilty of the wrong things that I've done in the past without saying sorry to the ones that I've carelessly hurt before. Now that I can't turn back the time the only thing that I always did was to forgive myself of the things that I've done to them and move on. I can proudly say to you now that I forgive the people who hurt me and who hated me as person. I can't force them if they hate me then it's ok I can't please everybody. I respect their opinion. I'm not perfect and I'm not like them. I just got to let these things go. It doesn't make me happy anyway and It doesn't help me at all. I better break the ice and chill. If God can forgive why can't I. Forgiveness taught me how to be humble. The fact is when you forgive someone, it does not make you a lesser person as you. Have a happy weekend my friend.