Monday, August 18, 2014


        I really wondered why I need to feel this way. It's over the years I've been in and out of a depression detention cell. I feel so defeated when I feel this way. What really matters is that I can always go out anytime and have the choice not to be in here forever. Life is always complicated and the only thing that is constant is change. Things just fluctuate into good time and sometimes bad. Happiness is a state of mind and a choice. There are just things around me that makes me so frustrated and discouraged. People hurt and they also are capable of loving and hurting me. Going out of the situation is the best escape but facing them is the most courageous thing to do. I'm facing my fears, I'm fighting my loneliness, I'm going with the flow, I'm planning what to do for my next best move, I try so real hard to pull up myself and just stay normal as I should be. It is a great struggle but I'm doing my very best to win this battle but I know I am not alone in winning this battle. The only difference from before was that I don't have God in  my life. The greatest victory I had was that I let God into my life. I went back to church. Reunited with the right power ups, strength and energy. The correct and appropriate channel I need to turn to. Where I was lead to the right path. Before, I was all alone and my greatest enemy was myself. Now I already make peace with myself and befriend it. My enemy now is the real enemy. The enemy that is been disguising and deceiving me for years. He use people and make this people hurt me, shake me and provoke me. This is more of a spiritual warfare that I need to face, adjusting to the cruel world of humans hungry for fame, riches, power and influence and Making and choosing the right decision. Prayers changes everything, maturity bites reality and family and peers support helps a lot. My story is not yet done. I need to end it well. I know someday I will be free from depression and will be truly happy in this world. God will help me get through with this. I trust in Him and I have faith.

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