Pain

      I don't know . All I know I'm kind a bit sad of the fact that this year, I experience a lot of pains and why such things happen to me but I'm hoping that in these things that happened to me I hope it would have something in it that would lead me to something better in life. I learn a lot of things from the experience, i could ask myself why such things happened to me. i know for sure that I'm not alone I knew that all of us have our own pains and sufferings in life. I have never imagine that those things will happen to me. Charge to experience, I'm lucky that I never experience how it feels to have a broken heart. I never had a relationship. In every pain I should be reminded of how Christ suffered and died on the cross. I should be thankful through all these pains I'm going through right now this reminds  me that I'm human and that I could feel pain that in every pain I'm suffering I'm saving a soul and through all these pains I become a stronger person than I was before. I become more prayerful and trusting to God. I've been in hell before and experience the life without God. I don't want to go back to that life anymore. I need to move  on and transcend from the situation I'm in right now. In pain there is strength so God grant me more pains so that i could be the most strongest person ever existed in this world.Thank you Lord. Have a good day my friend.

Reflection

This school year is the most challenging year for me. For the fact that I have a new set of pupils from a fast learner 2 class. I don't want to handle such group but I was given the task to handle them. I'm kinda bit pressured since people in school have a lot of expectation from me. I'm so scared honestly because I might fail their expectation but as time and days went by I realized that I should not be scared or worried about it as long as I'm doing my job, I'm doing my best as a teacher and I didn't hurt anybody or step on their people's right I should not be shaken then. I got hurt when they speak something that would hurt my feelings, but that is their opinion I should respect their opinion otherwise I would die of heart attack or cancer perhaps. I just got to do my job and do it perfectly as it should be. I'm just human I got hurt and I commit mistakes. I just hope that people would stop talking and judging me as if they are gods. I know myself.I know what I'm doing and in everything that I do there is a purpose and reason. I hope that these people would realize that what they are doing to me is wrong. It's ok I just got to forgive them and just take everything they say as a challenge for me to do better, to stand out from the rest, and to be the best teacher there is. Have a happy day my friend. (",)

Today

It was a rainy day today. I never saw the sun and until this very moment the rain is still pouring down from the sky. I got somehow a not so good day today but I have just resolve a very crucial issue in school. Quite tiring and draining but that's the way it should be. I'm glad it's over now I hope that it never happen ever again. I know that it is God's plan and I hope everything will be fine now. I wonder if there is a low pressure area here in our place. I hope the rainy will stop tomorrow I just miss the sun. Life has to go on no matter what. Have a blessed day my friend.

Worrying is No Good

Just imagine how we look like when something is bothering us inside. When we worry we put all ourselves into a difficult situation. Our body will be affected and our moods as well as our relationship with others. Worry can make one sick, it can waste our energy and make us stagnant. I've been fighting to stop worrying yet when that terrible phenomenon happens in me, I got so shaken,confused and upset. I just got to put my trust in God. Everything happens for a reason and He is in charge of everything. I have nothing to do but to keep on believing that things will get better soon. I wish someone could give me a happy pill that would lift my spirit but I just got to go with the flow because when things happens it happens and I must got to co-operate with the inevitable. Accept the thing that happened then to courageously face the reality and to just let it go like it never happened at all. Have a worry-free weekend friend.

Trust in God

I don't know how to describe my feelings but I don't have plans to figure it out anyway. Feels like everything is falling apart but I don't have to worry no more what happens, happens. My cousin honey once said that we can't change the past but we can ruin the present by worrying about the future. I just got to think of the worst things that might happen and accept the consequences I have to give it up to God. He is in charge of everything. I need to just let things be. Just got to put all my trust on Him. There is no need for me to be afraid of what will happen otherwise I'll end up six feet under hehehe. I just have to blow it in the wind. Every rain has a rainbow and every pain there is a time to heal. My head aches too much if I think a lot. I better think of happy thoughts that will divert myself from thinking of the bad things that is happening right now. I never give up on life no matter what. Have a happy weekend my friend.

Notice My Article For September

Last September 8, I was already sick that time. I could still remember I was brought to the hospital weeks after that. That was September 21, 2010. I really didn't expect that to happen, but i got no choice but to accept the fact that I'm really sick. Eversince then I keep silent and I just let things be. It was so hard yet I was able to recover that fast. It was a three months adjustment to the situation I'm in. From changing of my food choices, taking up medicines and to losing weight was a bit depressing at first but as time goes by, I was able to cope with the things I'm going through but I realized that I have more strength right now than I have before. I'm stronger and even more a fighter than I was before. Things are going smoothly right now problems are still there and adjustments as well. I'm holding on as i always did to the one that is greater than me and that is GOD. I put all my trust in Him and I always bear in my mind that I shall never, ever give up. Have a nice day my friend.

Work,Work and Work ......

I got a lot of work today. They all have been piled up for weeks now. I hope I could catch all the deadlines. I wish I'm a super girl who could make things possible in just one snap of a finger. I feel so old now eversince June I felt that everyday I'm got irritated of noise and those children who have attitude problem in school. Inspite of all the changes i was blessed with a nice batch of kids. They are really understanding and cooperative. They are mature and they can cope with a lot of pressure in school. I finally decided not to file a leave. I just got to endure the pain in my back. I will not give up as long as I got all the power ups and energy to stay. I will have to fight for it. Sometimes I would think of changing my mind but as what I have always notice that there is a voice inside me that is telling me to stay. I don't know all I ever wanted was that I'll be the best teacher there is and that when I face God, He'll be proud of me that when I'm still here I have done my job well. I wish I have more power ups and energy to go on with my mission. Have a wonderful day my friend.

My Blues

I don't know why I feel so sad.I've been keeping everything since summer. I think I need to see someone who could help me out of this chains I'm in. My class is fine. They are all good and I have set a boundary to let them know that I'm their teacher and they have to respect me or else if I don't in the end we will end up being like buddies which I think it is not good. School is telling me to join the ranking for a new promotions and position but I feel I'm not yet ready for a very big and difficult task to perform. I'm focusing now with my thesis proposal I'm not that real serious about it but my classmates told me that our dean and my mentor is always looking for me to finish and have my thesis proposal defense. I feel like i'm so trap really in a maze. I'm also kind of nervous because I knew that no matter how hard it is I have to go through with all of the pressures and difficulties in order for me to finish my thesis. I hope I could end this mission this year it's been a more than a decade now I need to end this. Life is quite focus now in school I wish I could balance everything. Have a nice day my friend.

My New Class

Hi I miss blogging for so very long. I've been busy lately. I'm having fun with my new batch of pupils. I kinda like them. I wish that these kids will be the best batch I will ever had. They are very energetic, talented and most especially they have pure talent and self-confidence. I like this batch. They are different. They love to sing, act and dance. They are very enthusiastic in almost all of the activities I'm giving them. I just hope they will continue to be like who they are now. I don't like to go through hardships of adjusting to their changing behavior. The new schedule is kinda a bit difficult at first. I got a hard time adjusting to it but as time passed by I got use to it. Our schedule for this school year was different from last school year if before we have one hour break now we don't we only have twenty minutes break for our lunch. Kids have to take their lunch inside their classroom. The best part was we go home early. Kids have no chance of going around the campus and wasting their time chatting, playing and cutting classes in a day. There is a least chance for kids to be absent in a half day. Have a happy weekend to all.

Just Another Day

I slept in the morning and when I woke up I did my household chores. My problem is that I still feel bored of my life. I have nothing to do. I wanted to do things that will keep me alive. I wanted to finish my thesis proposal but I don't know why I just can't move. I feel so helpless this time. I wanted to ask for help but I have no one to turn to. I wanted to lose weight this summer but at the back of my head I think it takes a lot of effort and hard work to lose weight but it seems like we always got a celebration here. Nanay prepares delicious foods like crabs, shrimps, adobo, and grilled fish. Almost everyday it is like living in a hotel with great food preparation. I guess nanay is testing me to have my self-control and discipline. I still didn't start with my plan like walking in the sports center or perhaps join a modern dance class just for fun. I don't have much time to waste I need to move or else it will be too late. I need to act now and let go of whatever fears and insecurities I'm feeling. Now, I realized that maybe I can't move because I dwell in the dark side of things and all the frustrating things I am experiencing right now. I need to have the courage in order for me to pursue my goals and for me to achieve them. I need to pray more I know God listens and God will help me.

Where is the light?

I can't see a thing help me. I'm just joking. I feel really upset of experiencing brown out. I just got to live with it perhaps make it as a sacrifice for the poor souls in purgatory. I went out in the house without thinking that the whole block in our street is so dark yet I still manage to go home safe thank God for that. I still got more pending jobs to do. I'm thankful because I'm busy and I got a job. I always try to look into the brighter side of things now even if there are things that bothers me once in a while but it's just a part of it. These are just spices of life that makes our life more meaningful and challenging as well. I guess I got to enjoy all the brown out thing and including the warm climate. Like what I always say this too shall pass. Have a happy El Niño Phenomenon day.

The Situation To Deal With

The temperature is rising due to El Niño and brown out is the latest and hottest thing we experience here in CDO. People are fond of going to malls these days, eating their favorite ice cream, washing a bunch of clothes that will easily dried up without using driers, playing in the ground and some would not stop taking a bath because of so much heat. I wish I live in the North Pole. I keep on thinking of the best way to finish my work but I can't move that fast because of the warm scenario. I can't use the electric fan since its brown out. There is a problem on the power supply here in Mindanao. Until now I'm still waiting for the rain to come. I had to make a way to use the internet since brown out just popped like a jack-o-lantern in the house. I just got to go with the flow or else I'll end up complaining and feeling miserable for the rest of the day. I just got to adjust the way things are happening around me. I got to learn to have more patience in accepting that life is not that always easy. Whatever happens I must adjust to it for me to survive and to take things as light as it should be. Summer is fast approaching and I'm looking forward to my two months vacation. I should not be thinking of that for now because I still have a lot of work to do. Bye for now. Have a wonderful day ahead.

Love the teeth

I remember before when I was a kid. I always have some things that I love to do. I love to drink milk, play with my playmates and there is one thing I don't forget and that was. I always brush my teeth more than three times a day. I love to clean my mouth. I remember that I could almost consume one whole tube of tooth paste for one week. I don't know I love taking care of my teeth. Honestly there are two aches which I didn't experience and that is heartache due to break ups and toothache hehehe. I still got a healthy teeth until now. I'm thankful that I still have maintain to make my teeth healthy. The secret that I always do is that I never fail to brush my teeth everyday, I don't eat candies all the time (it's one of the rule my mother always reminded my yaya) but I eat chocolates and all the food I love to eat then after that I brush my teeth and I see to it that I have my yearly check up to my dentist. Love your teeth as I love mine. Have a happy weekend my friend.

I got dizzy thinking....

Hi it's been a week. I'm so busy doing a lot of things in school. I'm ok yet tired. My nieces got sick. I also got sick but feels like it's a natural thing in me whenever I get sick I'm already numb and capable of enduring the pain I'm feeling inside. I don't entertain the pain that I'm feeling I always put in mind that it's only in the mind. Kids get so excited for summer vacation they are trying to be so relaxed in their studies. I'm trying to be a little bit firm but kind to them right now in order that they will get good grades in the fourth quarter. I think it is working. I got to pray harder and think positive about it. I'm not giving up that some of these kids will grow up and be mature enough to be responsible in their studies. I wanted them to change their attitude to become better individuals in our society. I know change is difficult but I know maybe not tomorrow but someday these kids will realized the true importance of Education in their lives and they will find the true path they should take. I wish that they will not be lost in the end. Let them decide the right decisions and teach them to choose the best choices in life. I always have a thought about this, each and every one of us are all lucky in this world, it is in our decisions and choices in life makes us hits the jackpot. We are the writer of our own story, the captain of our ship and the one who holds our life. God has given us the freedom to choose but we must always remember our limitations. We must make good decisions and best choices in life and most importantly use our freedom correctly. My kids will soon be grown up I hope they will learn everything about life.

Tired Feeling

I feel so tired I don't know why to think that I didn't really do much today. The kids are naturally and normally playful as always. I don't like that I idea but its just the way they are. There are some things that I wanted to change but it's just not beyond my power. I just got to live with it or else I'm going to say goodbye to this noble job of mine. I got to stay focus on my job and do good with it. Trials, difficulties and obstacles are always a part of it. Sometimes I wanted to give up but I don't know what keeps me going. There is just something that keeps holding me back and controlling me to never ever give up. I hope I still could endure that difficulty and sacrifices I'm going through right now. As long as I'm still having that something I need to hold on to it and never ever letting go of it. God is not sleeping. I know He is always here in my side. Have a nice day my friend.

It's Raining Again

There is a low pressure area the Eastern Mindanao that is why we experienced a heavy rain and a cloudy sky. We only got one and a half day class because of my meeting in school. It rained so hard that I got soaking wet. I'm not feeling well right now. I got my asthma attack, colds, and cough. I wanted to be absent but I'm not going to. I need to work and teach the children. Speaking of the kids, They were really excited to go home because when I went back from the classroom they already clean and arrange the room ready for them to leave.Kids will do everything for me if I have something to give them. Kids are kids they love to play and rest instead of going to school. Timing that this afternoon the rain comes out again I'm pretty sure some of my kids played and danced in the rain and some they probably have their rest and stayed at home. I hope to see them tomorrow with complete attendance. Have a nice day my friend.

Pressure

Everything is a surprise for us. The office did not told us that next week will be the mahiwagang evaluation week for us. I was shocked when I found out the news but what makes it good is that I still got the chance to complete all the missing thing in the classroom. I'm not in favor of this in fact they told us last year to prepare and we have been waiting for them to come yet they never showed up. I got pressured thinking of what may happen if they will come and I'm not ready it's a sad and negative thing to think of anyway. I'm struggling now just don't know why I feel too lazy to do my work and I feel there is really missing on it. I will try to put things back and think that everything is fine. I feel tired already. I think I'm sick I need to see my doctor for me to found out what is wrong with me. This too shall pass my friend. Have a nice day

Adapting to Changes

New year was really a big start for us in school for the fact that madam is no longer with us. Our grade leader maam lyds also was replaced by maam meilen. We have to extend our patience to adjust to our new superior so far so good. We still have to wait who will be our new school principal. Building relationship is really that hard yet the only key to make a relationship work is to respect each other, accept each others strength and weaknesses, accept each others ideas, and most especially to gain the trust from other person. It is hard, it is a life long process and it is a test of genuine friendship in building relationship. I could say that to make everything work for us in our group we should work hard and take the effort to make things happen. I just hope that everything will turn out fine.

I'm Back

Hi everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year. I'm actually concentrating my time resting and help a little here at home. I feel a little sad yet I just got to go on with life. I realized that money can never buy happiness even if you got a lot of money but still real happiness can never be substituted by it. I'm just so happy that I celebrate the birthday of Jesus with my family here in the Philippines. All I did was to eat and sleep and help in watching over my nieces. I attended mass with nanay and tatay last Christmas day that makes it so complete. I go places if I need to like buy stuff for Christmas presents and food at home. The thing i don't want to experience in this holiday time is the heavy traffic on the streets. I don't like the pollution and all that. I don't have any choices but to just go with the flow. I'm the runner and the errand girl in the house now except if nanay will be the one to buy all the stuff she needed. I'm looking forward to have a safe and a memorable New Year. I'm creating my New Year's Resolution if I'm done with it I'm going to post it here. Have a happy day and take care.

Happenings

I've been hibernating for days now. I don't know I had a lot of things in my mind just can't pour it out well. Our Christmas party was fun even though there are eight pupils who failed to attend still we were able to have a happy Christmas party. It's the first day of my Christmas vacation I'm just here doing nothing at home but taking care of the my nieces. I taught them simple lessons I wanted them to learn. I feel bored doing nothing. I think that my depression got worst now but I don't mind it. It is not worthy at all to focus my mind to such distraction. I just feel so lonely don't know why. I'm trying to make myself busy. Watch some old movies on TV, do household chores, play with my nieces, do my research for my thesis and the best thing I wanted to do is to have my sleeping session yes! hehehe. I wanted to sleep all day I'm done fixing my cabinet maybe tomorrow I will have my general cleaning in my room and wash my clothes. Me and my best friend already did our exchange gift activity I gave him a wallet. He liked it very much he even confessed that the wallet he is using is already 15 years old. I'm glad that I gave him the best present this year. On the other hand he gave me a big orange towel. For the past few days I was thinking to have a new towel then to my big surprise he gave me a towel. I can't explain it everytime he gave me something it was always the best present I have received coincidence or it just happen in the ordinary phenomenon. hehehe I don't know.