Wednesday, September 08, 2010

My Burden

Wow! my school project which is the grills gate for my comfort room was already done last July even though not all kids were able to pay their contribution. I'm quite sad these days because the project that our school requires is a dental trough. Honestly, I'm not that rich but I have enough money to spend for the project but what I got so angry was that i have my comfort room repaired, it so happen that the guys who repaired my comfort room swindled me for 1500php. I could have use the money for building my dental trough. It pains me so much that thinking I never cheated on anybody. I have asked then what have I done to deserve this. As always everything happens for a reason. I got a hard time thinking where could I possibly get money for building up my dental trough. I could sensed that parents would have a burden paying again for another project since we already got the original project for the PTA. I hope I could get over this. All I did was to offer it to the poor souls in the purgatory. I have to stop worrying or else it would make my depression worst.Well at least now, I could manage myself because I always try to shift my mood. I try to hold on to those happy thoughts that I could think of. What surprises me was that I got emotional whenever I could see sad scenes in the movie (even cartoon movies that would show a slightly sentimental scene like for example the movie UP from Disney-Pixar), I cry when I hear sad stories and I get easily affected on depressing situation. I got confused why I'm feeling that way well at least I'm aware of it. Shifting my thoughts will help me lessen the heartaching and depressing feeling I feel inside. I just have to think that Christ's sufferings is more painful than the pain I'm feeling inside. I got maybe just a small spot of ache compared to the pain he have experienced when he died on the cross.I know God will help me get through with this. I will transcend to this situation. This too shall pass. To Madz and Paulo thank you very much for the encouragement. God bless you.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Work,Work and Work ......

I got a lot of work today. They all have been piled up for weeks now. I hope I could catch all the deadlines. I wish I'm a super girl who could make things possible in just one snap of a finger. I feel so old now eversince June I felt that everyday I'm got irritated of noise and those children who have attitude problem in school. Inspite of all the changes i was blessed with a nice batch of kids. They are really understanding and cooperative. They are mature and they can cope with a lot of pressure in school. I finally decided not to file a leave. I just got to endure the pain in my back. I will not give up as long as I got all the power ups and energy to stay. I will have to fight for it. Sometimes I would think of changing my mind but as what I have always notice that there is a voice inside me that is telling me to stay. I don't know all I ever wanted was that I'll be the best teacher there is and that when I face God, He'll be proud of me that when I'm still here I have done my job well. I wish I have more power ups and energy to go on with my mission. Have a wonderful day my friend.

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