Depression

        I really wondered why I need to feel this way. It's over the years I've been in and out of a depression detention cell. I feel so defeated when I feel this way. What really matters is that I can always go out anytime and have the choice not to be in here forever. Life is always complicated and the only thing that is constant is change. Things just fluctuate into good time and sometimes bad. Happiness is a state of mind and a choice. There are just things around me that makes me so frustrated and discouraged. People hurt and they also are capable of loving and hurting me. Going out of the situation is the best escape but facing them is the most courageous thing to do. I'm facing my fears, I'm fighting my loneliness, I'm going with the flow, I'm planning what to do for my next best move, I try so real hard to pull up myself and just stay normal as I should be. It is a great struggle but I'm doing my very best to win this battle but I know I am not alone in winning this battle. The only difference from before was that I don't have God in  my life. The greatest victory I had was that I let God into my life. I went back to church. Reunited with the right power ups, strength and energy. The correct and appropriate channel I need to turn to. Where I was lead to the right path. Before, I was all alone and my greatest enemy was myself. Now I already make peace with myself and befriend it. My enemy now is the real enemy. The enemy that is been disguising and deceiving me for years. He use people and make this people hurt me, shake me and provoke me. This is more of a spiritual warfare that I need to face, adjusting to the cruel world of humans hungry for fame, riches, power and influence and Making and choosing the right decision. Prayers changes everything, maturity bites reality and family and peers support helps a lot. My story is not yet done. I need to end it well. I know someday I will be free from depression and will be truly happy in this world. God will help me get through with this. I trust in Him and I have faith.

Awesome Reflection

Hi everyone. I'm back how are u my friend? I'm so filled with a lot of wisdom today I learned about the death of Jesus. Jesus suffer because of His decision to love us and We are not save because of His sufferings and pain but we are save because of His great love for us. If people suffer it's because we choose to love but what is important is not the pain and suffering that we experience but the intensity of love that give. There are three things we need to put in mind and do first is to get closer to God, believe in Him and to always communicate with Him, second is to hold on to God to never give up on life and third is to hold on tight that as if we only depend on Him. Have faith in Him my friend because He will never leave us alone and He will never allow us to carry our cross if we cannot bear it. Every pain and sufferings we experience has a purpose. These will help us to become a better person and to make us more stronger to face life's challenges. Have a blessed day my friend (",)

Wacky Weather

I don't understand the weather today. When I went out of the house it started to rain but when I'm on my way to school the sun started to shine so brightly that I feel so irritated. The weather changes just as my mood changes too. When I'm done working in school it started to rain again. I wish that this tricky weather would stop playing on us. It also does change our plans of the day. I strongly believe that mother nature is really sick this time. I guess she is now letting us know and feel that we need to do something to solve global warming. Let's act now or else it will be too late. Doing this it should start within me like I should throw my garbage in the right place, minimize the use of air conditioners instead use fan, check products it should be environmental friendly, recycle things that could be converted to other use, reduce garbage, segregate garbage from non-biodegardable materials to biodegradable materials, avoid burning things, plant more trees and reuse the things that could still be use. It is a challenge to each and everyone of us to cure this sick planet. Act now my friends.

Just Another Day

I slept in the morning and when I woke up I did my household chores. My problem is that I still feel bored of my life. I have nothing to do. I wanted to do things that will keep me alive. I wanted to finish my thesis proposal but I don't know why I just can't move. I feel so helpless this time. I wanted to ask for help but I have no one to turn to. I wanted to lose weight this summer but at the back of my head I think it takes a lot of effort and hard work to lose weight but it seems like we always got a celebration here. Nanay prepares delicious foods like crabs, shrimps, adobo, and grilled fish. Almost everyday it is like living in a hotel with great food preparation. I guess nanay is testing me to have my self-control and discipline. I still didn't start with my plan like walking in the sports center or perhaps join a modern dance class just for fun. I don't have much time to waste I need to move or else it will be too late. I need to act now and let go of whatever fears and insecurities I'm feeling. Now, I realized that maybe I can't move because I dwell in the dark side of things and all the frustrating things I am experiencing right now. I need to have the courage in order for me to pursue my goals and for me to achieve them. I need to pray more I know God listens and God will help me.

The Situation To Deal With

The temperature is rising due to El Niño and brown out is the latest and hottest thing we experience here in CDO. People are fond of going to malls these days, eating their favorite ice cream, washing a bunch of clothes that will easily dried up without using driers, playing in the ground and some would not stop taking a bath because of so much heat. I wish I live in the North Pole. I keep on thinking of the best way to finish my work but I can't move that fast because of the warm scenario. I can't use the electric fan since its brown out. There is a problem on the power supply here in Mindanao. Until now I'm still waiting for the rain to come. I had to make a way to use the internet since brown out just popped like a jack-o-lantern in the house. I just got to go with the flow or else I'll end up complaining and feeling miserable for the rest of the day. I just got to adjust the way things are happening around me. I got to learn to have more patience in accepting that life is not that always easy. Whatever happens I must adjust to it for me to survive and to take things as light as it should be. Summer is fast approaching and I'm looking forward to my two months vacation. I should not be thinking of that for now because I still have a lot of work to do. Bye for now. Have a wonderful day ahead.

Love is

Yesterday was Hearts Day. My nanay and tatay had their yearly date. Me, I stayed at home and sleep all day. I was preparing also for the New Year. I stayed up late watching fireworks and just listening to some fire crackers. Some of my friends greeted me Happy Valentines Day. This made me think of some things about love. Love is a strong and a powerful thing in this world. It could hurt us, it can make us happy and above all it makes things possible no matter what. In love there is no impossible. If you have a little love in your heart be grateful because that love will save you someday but if you don't love at all in your heart it only indicates that one will become miserably unlucky in this world. Keep on loving and never get tired to give love. The more love you give the more blessings you will receive. Stay in love forever.

The Insane Woman

Last Sunday, I attended a mass at six o'clock in the evening. I was late so I stayed outside the church. Suddenly a woman went inside the church. She was wearing a brown knitted blouse. I used to see her walking around the church. One thing that stuck me was that she is a special person yet too ordinary to be noticed at. I saw a sad person in her. I wish I could help her. She might be smiling yet looking into her eyes I saw a suffering soul within her. then I realized that I saw myself in her. I'm moved to tears. I just then realized that I am as sad as her. I felt the pain in my heart. This woman is just one ordinary person. She always goes to church almost everyday I even thought she stays in the church. She is an insane woman who escapes from the pain she is feeling inside. People escape from pain. I for one tries to get rid of it, but I believe that running away and getting rid of the problems and pain is not a solution at all. Pretending to be fine would make the pain more painful. Being blind and apathetic would make one a numb person. Acceptance, humility, forgiveness and letting go would be the best thing that I always bear in mind. Acceptance of what happen, humility to accept what happen, to forgive those who hurt me and let go of the hurtful feelings I felt. We are all insane in this cruel world we live in but the only way to stick with our sanity is to trust in God and to be strong to every challenges, trials and difficulties we encounter in our way. I'm holding on to what I have right now. I keep on Loving those people who cared for me, Help those who need me and I always try to do my job well to make God happy and proud of me. Have a nice day. (",)