I really wondered why I need to feel this way. It's over the years I've been in and out of a depression detention cell. I feel so defeated when I feel this way. What really matters is that I can always go out anytime and have the choice not to be in here forever. Life is always complicated and the only thing that is constant is change. Things just fluctuate into good time and sometimes bad. Happiness is a state of mind and a choice. There are just things around me that makes me so frustrated and discouraged. People hurt and they also are capable of loving and hurting me. Going out of the situation is the best escape but facing them is the most courageous thing to do. I'm facing my fears, I'm fighting my loneliness, I'm going with the flow, I'm planning what to do for my next best move, I try so real hard to pull up myself and just stay normal as I should be. It is a great struggle but I'm doing my very best to win this battle but I know I am not alone in winning this battle. The only difference from before was that I don't have God in my life. The greatest victory I had was that I let God into my life. I went back to church. Reunited with the right power ups, strength and energy. The correct and appropriate channel I need to turn to. Where I was lead to the right path. Before, I was all alone and my greatest enemy was myself. Now I already make peace with myself and befriend it. My enemy now is the real enemy. The enemy that is been disguising and deceiving me for years. He use people and make this people hurt me, shake me and provoke me. This is more of a spiritual warfare that I need to face, adjusting to the cruel world of humans hungry for fame, riches, power and influence and Making and choosing the right decision. Prayers changes everything, maturity bites reality and family and peers support helps a lot. My story is not yet done. I need to end it well. I know someday I will be free from depression and will be truly happy in this world. God will help me get through with this. I trust in Him and I have faith.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Sunday, August 17, 2014
I am so happy that our principal announced that we are going to have a visitation and observation with our supervisor. We are so prepared that we can't wait to see and welcome her inside our room. The moment came the time we have been waiting for. I was expecting to learn something from the supervisor but sad to say when she found out that I don't have the copy of the curriculum she is looking for she started insulting me and she was questioning me of my credibility as a teacher. I was so disgusted, humiliated and suffocated in my ten years of my life as a teacher. I was disappointed I thought I could be given help or assistance but all I get was a hurtful comment and accusation. I was hurt and discourage. I could say she did not perform her job well. Research says Education supervisors can work in all levels of schooling. Most commonly, education supervisors work as principals or assistant principals in elementary and secondary schools. These professionals are charged with leading the school to meet accountability standards set by local, state and national government agencies. Principals and assistant principals supervise teachers, paraprofessionals and support staff, such as secretaries, bookkeepers and custodial workers. Their responsibilities can also include budgeting, designing or implementing curriculum or programs, planning school events and evaluating teachers.(diploma guide) I was expecting her to guide me by providing me the curriculum herself she was looking for and yet for the fact no one and not even her provided me with such copy as well as giving me training to make my work as smooth as it should be. Sad to say all she did was insult me in front of my parents and my pupils. She is receiving a higher salary than I but for sure she don't deserve not a single centavo of her salary. All she did was to brag of herself in fact she did not accomplish anything. Little knowledge is dangerous. Maybe its about time that teachers will have a voice and be heard.Why not teachers will also rate supervisors who supervises them. This will show how effective they are in mentoring, guiding , and supervising them. Education fails not only because of the pupils and teachers itself, why not blame it to the administrators? why can't they are not to be blame after all they are the ones that are responsible for letting all the teachers implement this programs and new innovations. They are the prime movers to move, motivate and coach teachers to be at their best and not to pinned them down. I'm saying this because I am the victim here. I believe I must be treated well not because I am one of the teachers of the institution where i teach but because for the fact that I am human I deserve to be respected and to be treated as I should be.
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