I just turned thirty today. I'm old now. Few of my treasured friends greet me today. I don't mind if I there are only a few people who greeted me compared the last year I won't mind. The important thing is that God gave me another chance to live my life again to make things right, to face my plight and to make things better. I know I still have a mission in life that I need to fulfill whatever that is I hope I could accomplish it well and right. Each of us has our own life then while I was there in the church this morning I was thinking what would life be if ... I started to question am I alone here? I come to realized that a lot of people too have their own path, have their own way and they have own life to fix with just like mine. I come to think that I'm not alone anyway the only secret is that I just need to remember that God will never give me problems which I cannot handle. Life seems hard but I got to stand still and go on with it. I got no choice but to live with it or else I'll lose my sanity anyway what is important is that I'm still sane hehehe. I miss eating chocolates I might as well buy chocolates tomorrow hehehe God bless you my friend
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I find it relaxing to have a vacation but thinking of what is going to happen in the week days is not as relaxing as what I'm thinking. I have a lot of things to do again and I need to rush things or else I'll do nothing. I'll do it tonight. I'll fix everything I need to fix. I will finish all tonight. I'm now ready for other chapter in my life. Looking back the last year's experience was a storm for me but it made me the person I am now. It's was difficult to face all those adversities I have faced last year. I never thought I would survived but I did I was always saying that I could not endure everything but lucky I have surpassed it. Now I come to realized that God would not give something we can't resolved. It was a turning point in life. I hope everything will be fine. Happy Weekend
Friday, August 28, 2009
We have fun today celebrating our city fiesta. Viva San Augustine! I got to be with my old friends maam alice and weng. Weng just came out of the convent. I'm still wondering how it feels like to be in the convent all I ever knew was that my ultimate dream is to be a nun but maybe I will be wondering for the rest of my life because I still wasn't able to enter the convent. One congregation told me to have a boyfriend first before entering the convent to experience human love but the problem is that here is one kept secret I got is that I never had a boyfriend ever in my life. Since I don't have one maybe I will never be in the convent. I'll be turnng thirty this Monday (I'm old na) I guess and I'll be single and satisfied for life. I'll be serving God in my own little way. I remember back then My spiritual counselor Sister Josefa ask me why I have the desire to enter the convent I just told her that because I love Jesus and Jesus loves me and He is the only one who truly loves me. For sure God destined me to be a teacher to serve the kids and touch their lives. There are a lot of times I tried quitting but I always end up going to back to teaching. Sometimes I got frustrated like what happened yesterday that only few kids went to school just for the reason that they wanted to watch and join the activities in our city fiesta I need to understand that it's just a test of patience and endurance in how I got to handle such situation I felt embrassed about it but now I realized that these things happen for me to accept that nothing is perfect that I need to do something next time that the kids will not be absent in school anymore. It's not my fault anyway I did not tell them to be absent but it's their own decision to be absent and I just got to go with the flow. I feel bad about it honestly I will talk to them and tell them what I truly feel about what they did. Happy weekend my friend.
Posted by Carms at 8:58 AM
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I got nothing to do in school kids are almost absent today in school. I feel sad about it that is why my blood presssure went up. I think I got to control my feelings otherwise I'm going to have a bad day. All I did today is to fill up forms and do fixing jobs in school. Tomorrow is our City fiesta. I wanted to have fun or perhaps go out alone again having my own window shopping it's just that I got a lot of work to do. I just got to stay in the house or hear mass in the afternoon. I hope my sister and her family will visit us tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
It's nice to be back I've been quite lazy checking e-mails and posting articles. I'm having a full time baby sitting with my two nieces they also got sick like me that is why I took care of them. I help my sister in taking care of her babies.I'm ok now. I'm still that busy though but I take things at a time. I have to stay focus or else I'm going to be distracted again. I know that everything happens for a reason whatever that is I know it will always be for the better. I'm trying to enjoy my free time now I know that there is only a few days from now and I'll be free from all the burden at least now I have a partner for the tutorial every Saturday. Thanks to madam she gave me maam Christine at least there will be someone to help me. Thanks God too. God bless you my friend.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I've been trying to recover my strength from my illness. I have my whole day sleeping session and I have all the time to relax and think nothing but sleep. Now that time is over all I need to do now is to work again and think of the things I should suppose to do for tomorrow and for the whole week. Life has to go on. I may wish to rest a little longer but I have to accept the fact that I should keep going for work. There is no more time for relaxing. I got to prepare for tomorrow's lesson. I know and I'm sure that everything will be ok and successful tomorrow. Think positive all the time. It works and it's effective.
Friday, August 21, 2009
The investigatory project we are making is finally done. Sad to say I still have one more project to do. I'm have to start it on monday. Tomorrow I'm going to continue with the skills training for the college students. Next week will be more busy than this week because the tutorial participants should be carefully selected by me and my new partner teacher Christine, madam and the barangay worker then next Saturday will be the first meeting tutorial sessions. i'm exhausted really but I just got to have strength now that what I truly want to happen is now slowly come to realize funny because before I was just dreaming now I'm actually achieving it already. I'm tired but I just got to continue. It's God's will and I need to help them so that together our goals will be fulfilled. Have a happy weekend my friend.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Things got mixed up these last past few days especially when I got sick. when I went back to school, things got totally change. My responsibility got too complicated now and it becomes more harder and bigger but I got no choice but to do it and finish it. I got to talked with our Congressman for the feeding program for the tutees of the NSTP tutorial. I'm not used to talking with people in position anyway I think yesterday is history. I'm back now I wish I'm ok forever and whatever happens I should always put in mind that God will never leave me as long as He is there I will never be shaken. Thank you God
Monday, August 17, 2009
I've been sick for four straight days now. I don't know what curse or virus has gotten in me. I really feel so weak. Wish I could do something to make me feel well quickly. I've been worried thinking what the kids are doing now that I'm not around in school. I was thinking of going to school but I'm still weak. Wish I could go to school tomorrow and fix everything that I need to fix. I'm praying that everything is ok that I could accomplish everything that I need to do. I just felt that there is a negative force that ruined my positive disposition and turn everything into a jinx and it just happen like a chain reaction. I always believe that everything happens with a purpose and that there is always a reason for everything whatever that is I wish that it will be for the good and not for the worst. wish me well my friend.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Forgiving someone is sometimes hard to do but we just got to do it in order not to break the bond but sometimes when pain and hatred gets along the way forgiveness is really hard to do. I've been suffering from this struggle for three years but when I finally learned to let go of it and free myself from the hurt and pain inside It feels good to let go and forgive the people who have cause me pain and disappointment.I've been feeling guilty of the wrong things that I've done in the past without saying sorry to the ones that I've carelessly hurt before. Now that I can't turn back the time the only thing that I always did was to forgive myself of the things that I've done to them and move on. I can proudly say to you now that I forgive the people who hurt me and who hated me as person. I can't force them if they hate me then it's ok I can't please everybody. I respect their opinion. I'm not perfect and I'm not like them. I just got to let these things go. It doesn't make me happy anyway and It doesn't help me at all. I better break the ice and chill. If God can forgive why can't I. Forgiveness taught me how to be humble. The fact is when you forgive someone, it does not make you a lesser person as you. Have a happy weekend my friend.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I don't have any idea what is the results of their exam today. I hope it will be fine and ok. One the supervisors went to school and get in my class today. I got so nervous but she didn't stay long kids behave well when she get in my classroom lucky day . I don't know if it is going to be ok for me everyday now that everyday I got to work with pressure in my hands sad thing but I got to accept it and we all have to live a life like that just got to cope with the challenge they post in us. It will be okay as long as we are all ready. Life seems so fast this time but I got to slow it down for me to survive.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
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I finally got the chance to talk to ate joy. I'm glad that she is ok as well as the baby. I'm working on the project right now. I wish this too shall pass. I feel irritated with my mouth sore. I hope this too heals because I got discomforts in talking and also in eating. It is very painful. I got to change my sleeping patterns I only got a few hours of sleep these days. I find it really hard to adjust. I'm still hoping that everything will turn out fine. School was ok today. I'm glad that children are ok too. I wish that they could answer all the questions in the periodical exam tomorrow. God bless you my friend.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Yes I'm here. I wasn't able to post yesterday because I'm tired. I'm still trying to adjust to my busy work in school. I'm ok now. All I did was just to trust in God that He will guide me and direct me to whatever things that I'm doing right now. It feels good to trust in God. My depression is still here but I should not be carried away because if I entertain it then I will not accomplish anything. I'm ok I can manage. Smile and be happy carms. School was ok. Normally I got to scold kids, teach them and guide them. The spoiled kid is getting more immature. Gradually, he will learned things in a hard way because he chooses to. It is his choice anyway. I'm trying to lead him to the right path and do things easy for him to cope with his life but he chooses to do his way then be it. Maybe in that way he will change and realized what he should suppose to do. I did my best and for sure I'm not giving up. I never give up on kids like him. All pupils I handled who have this kind of attitude problem never miss to learned to change their attitude when they are going to the next level I won't allow them to behave that way. I don't know with this case he seems to be so immature and childish. Anyway I'm still positive and hopeful that he will change. God willing.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
I got a lot of pending work to do. I just wish and pray I could finish all of these tonight. I wish that everything will turn out right. I can't understand what I feel inside me. I know this is not just the first time I'm feeling this way. I just always remind myself that this too shall pass. I got to pray harder now that I feel that I'm helpless. I got to hold on. I got to prepare for tomorrow's lesson. I wish that tomorrow will be a beautiful and inspiring day for me and for my pupils. Talking about the weather, The temperature is rising and it's really warm in here. I miss the rain. Tomorrow is another day. I got to experience life and touch others life tomorrow. It's another mission to fulfill and to make things better. Even if there are fears and anxiety inside I got to face every plight and challenge with a smile in my face and positive mind to shield me from the things that may cause me to be weak. Go Carms you can do it. No time to surrender now. God bless you my friend
Saturday, August 08, 2009
I'm done yes! at last the skills training was over. I'm so impressed with my two student volunteers they are really good. The XU-NSTP students were very good too. I think that this batch is ok. They are smart, intelligent and serious I hope that first impression last. They were very excited for next Saturday. They say that they learned a lot of things from me I too have learned from them. Nice! The investigatory project is done already all I need is to create the presentation for the exhibit and contest. I hope I will be able to cope with the pressure I'm facing right now. I'm positive that this too shall pass. I got the chance to chat with my sisters last night. I'm so happy chatting with them. My niece sophia sang a song for me. She does got potential. I miss them but I have no choice all I have to think is that at least I have the chance to talk to them. God Bless you my friend.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Help me! help me! I'm swimming to a lot of task this week but I just go to take it one at a time. I'm hooked with a lot of work. Kids are getting in my classroom even if I'm not their teacher but it is ok as long as I can do the task. I just got to continue praying and working that things will get better. I have to work till Saturday to finish my task. I have to prepare a lot of things for the skills training this Saturday. Wish me luck. It's our first time to meet this Saturday I hope this batch of college students are ok and good. Every year when I have this class I always got nervous in meeting them especially that I don't know them and what kind of students they are but at the later part I got to know them and adjust to their attitude. I'm wishing that this tutorial sessions this year will be a successful one and that many children will become a reader after the school year ends. God bless you my friend.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
I'm one with my fellow Filipino people who mourns and bid goodbye to tita Cory. I can't help but cry because maybe I know what she have been through in life and how she survives and endure all the pain and challenges she have encountered. That is life after all and at least now she is there in heaven she can rest and be with her beloved. School again tomorrow I got to prepare a lot of things for tomorrow and for Saturday. I feel a little bit worried of this investigatory project. I got to have that courage to handle it. I've been so dependent to ate joy and now that she is on leave I should learn how to stand on my own. I got to start praying now and start working before anything got worse. I'm positive about this task that I could surpass and accomplish this. I'm sure about it. I just got to stay focus and just take things at a time. Tatay is ok now thank God. He just needs to rest for awhile because he is still under medication. As what I always say life has to go on no matter what. God bless you my friend
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
I've received a pile of work today. I finally got my transcript and I already have hired someone to paint my room. Tomorrow is a Special Holiday to pay our last respect for our former President Corazon C. Aquino. She is the woman of faith, courage and freedom. She leads us to fought for our right and freedom in a very peaceful way. I admire her for her big faith in God. I'm just so sad that she is not without us anymore but I know that her memory will always remain in our thoughts and in our hearts. School is slowly going to be busy this month I hope I could endure the stress and the pressure I know I will and I have to. God bless you my friend.
Monday, August 03, 2009
I've been busy lately. My father got sick. I hope and pray he is fine now. School was ok. i need to paint my classroom tomorrow but I need someone to paint it for me. My co-teacher ate joy gave birth to her first baby last July 30. She ask me to edit the work of her kids for the investigatory project. Me too is also preparing one kid for the science quiz and investigatory project contest. This will be my first time handling it alone without ate joy. I'm not good at this but I will try my best to do this job. I'm super busy this weekend because I'm going to handle a skills training for the tutors in XU-NSTP LTS. I'm excited already even if I'm not yet ready for the things that I need to prepare. Madam is pressuring me to make my kids all fast readers. I'm worried about my three specials kids but i hope they can now cope with the lessons in grade IV. Nothing is impossible if we only believe.
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