New Chapter

It's been a long time since I was sharing my thoughts here. I got so busy because of my thesis. I'm finally done with my thesis proposal defense I'm looking forward in finishing my thesis this semester. Please do pray for my final defense and hopefully graduate this March 2012. I'm so thankful of the blessings that God has given to me. I hope that whatever happens I could surpass everything and be the best that I could. Have a happy weekend my friend.

Reflection of the Day

I wanted to feel happy but its just that I can't find the feeling to be happy. I feel so empty just wanted to sleep and do nothing at all. It's the first day of the month and the sun is not showing up here. It makes me more lazy and gloomy. School is fine today it's just that I'm also aware that I feel like there is something missing in it. I need to give more effort and give my very best because I knew I could still do more maybe I'm just so tired of what I have been through. I realized that I'm always thinking of myself I failed to think of others and I failed to think of the people around me who cares for me and who will always be there to support me. I've been selfish all these time. I need to pull up myself and stop that habit or else I will lose everything that I got and I'll be letting go of the things that I'm holding onto now. I got to change my ways and start to live a new life. I should feel happy, contented and secure. I guess I need a lot of fixing and have that emotional make over too. I hope I could do it. I will try hard for it. Wish me luck. Have a nice day my friend. (",$

My Burden

Wow! my school project which is the grills gate for my comfort room was already done last July even though not all kids were able to pay their contribution. I'm quite sad these days because the project that our school requires is a dental trough. Honestly, I'm not that rich but I have enough money to spend for the project but what I got so angry was that i have my comfort room repaired, it so happen that the guys who repaired my comfort room swindled me for 1500php. I could have use the money for building my dental trough. It pains me so much that thinking I never cheated on anybody. I have asked then what have I done to deserve this. As always everything happens for a reason. I got a hard time thinking where could I possibly get money for building up my dental trough. I could sensed that parents would have a burden paying again for another project since we already got the original project for the PTA. I hope I could get over this. All I did was to offer it to the poor souls in the purgatory. I have to stop worrying or else it would make my depression worst.Well at least now, I could manage myself because I always try to shift my mood. I try to hold on to those happy thoughts that I could think of. What surprises me was that I got emotional whenever I could see sad scenes in the movie (even cartoon movies that would show a slightly sentimental scene like for example the movie UP from Disney-Pixar), I cry when I hear sad stories and I get easily affected on depressing situation. I got confused why I'm feeling that way well at least I'm aware of it. Shifting my thoughts will help me lessen the heartaching and depressing feeling I feel inside. I just have to think that Christ's sufferings is more painful than the pain I'm feeling inside. I got maybe just a small spot of ache compared to the pain he have experienced when he died on the cross.I know God will help me get through with this. I will transcend to this situation. This too shall pass. To Madz and Paulo thank you very much for the encouragement. God bless you.

Work,Work and Work ......

I got a lot of work today. They all have been piled up for weeks now. I hope I could catch all the deadlines. I wish I'm a super girl who could make things possible in just one snap of a finger. I feel so old now eversince June I felt that everyday I'm got irritated of noise and those children who have attitude problem in school. Inspite of all the changes i was blessed with a nice batch of kids. They are really understanding and cooperative. They are mature and they can cope with a lot of pressure in school. I finally decided not to file a leave. I just got to endure the pain in my back. I will not give up as long as I got all the power ups and energy to stay. I will have to fight for it. Sometimes I would think of changing my mind but as what I have always notice that there is a voice inside me that is telling me to stay. I don't know all I ever wanted was that I'll be the best teacher there is and that when I face God, He'll be proud of me that when I'm still here I have done my job well. I wish I have more power ups and energy to go on with my mission. Have a wonderful day my friend.

Back on Track

I have been silent for about a month now. I got sick for almost one month. Good news was that I didn't miss any class at all because even if I'm not feeling well I still have the strength to pull myself up and manage to live normally as I should. I find it hard to work when I feel the pain inside me but I have forced myself to endure the pain in my back just to attend my class and be present. I promise myself from the very start that in this school year I will never have to file for a leave just because I'm not feeling well. Indeed I was present the whole time but I was shocked when I saw in my payslip that I was deducted for a one day absent. I don't understand why that happens but they told me it was a deduction from my last absent last school year 2009-2010. I don't know if that applies to it but one of these days I will visit the office and ask the secretary. Anyway, My class is ok they are very good and cooperative. I feel blessed to have kids like these batch. It inspires me do my best as a teacher. I am now well adjusted to the new time schedule but in a few weeks we need to adjust again to the another new schedule our class will start at 12:00nn and ends at 6:00pm due to the renovation and repairs of some classrooms. I like that schedule I would have a lot of time sleeping and preparing visual aids for my lesson. Life is too tough these days I need to decide if I'm going to file a leave or not for six months. I feel exhausted working with having a back pain although right now I feel a little better unlike before. I hope i'll be fine now. Have a happy day. (",)

I'm Speechless

I have nothing to say. I guess I'm just too tired of our activity yesterday. We celebrated the culminating activity for the celebration of the Nutrition month. The class prepared a fruit salad. Everybody was excited and happy yesterday and they are all full. Kids love playing as always I let them play yesterday because we didn't have a formal class. They have so much fun and I just watch them running and playing outside the classroom. This batch of kids are different from last year they are obedient and they have this sense of responsibility. They have the heart and they take their studies seriously but of course there are still kids who I call baby. I have a pupil who is very intelligent. She is really good and show interest in her study. The thing that makes me so worried was she is different from her classmates. She got this behavioral problem. She easily gets irritated, she always wanted to be notice at and she changes moods once in awhile. Honestly, I have the hard time dealing with her but I always see to it that I will not appear as a bad teacher to her. I continue to help her out of her problem. The one thing I feel disappointed with is that she is really good, she got all the brains, beauty and talent to show yet because of her attitude she appears to be a failure because when she got her tantrums everything is ruin and what is hard is that she don't easily let go of her frustration and anger. She would prolong the burden and the hate she felt. I wish I could help her out since I'm going to be with her for ten months probably I could adjust to her attitude and help her resolve her unsolve issues in life. I'm seeking help and cooperation with her classmates maybe it would help her in anyway. This is my mission that I need to accomplish for this year aside from finishing my mahiwagang thesis. I wish God will help me. I'm sure He will. Have a happy weekend my friend.

Where is the light?

I can't see a thing help me. I'm just joking. I feel really upset of experiencing brown out. I just got to live with it perhaps make it as a sacrifice for the poor souls in purgatory. I went out in the house without thinking that the whole block in our street is so dark yet I still manage to go home safe thank God for that. I still got more pending jobs to do. I'm thankful because I'm busy and I got a job. I always try to look into the brighter side of things now even if there are things that bothers me once in a while but it's just a part of it. These are just spices of life that makes our life more meaningful and challenging as well. I guess I got to enjoy all the brown out thing and including the warm climate. Like what I always say this too shall pass. Have a happy El Niño Phenomenon day.

Yes I'm Happy with my work

Our NSTP class area work ended today. It was so sad because it means we are saying goodbye to each other. I remember when I had my skills training for this batch of college students, I was kind of afraid that they might not listen or they might find me boring but I was wrong. They were very enthusiatic and excited for their area work. Indeed they were really good they did well in their tutorial session with the kids but of course difficulties are part of it and through that difficulties they encounter, they were able to learn how to adjust, adapt and experiment new ways how to capture the child's attention. I can relate to that because I teach kids and I work with them. Normally people get tired. Sometimes I am too inspired to do my work and sometimes not. Honestly, I get tired, frustrated and bored with my work I'm just human but I'm proud to say that I'm not giving up because giving up means I'm truly defeated. This is my mission in life and I have to fulfill it. All I can say is that I'm happy with my work. If I'm not I could have just resign, be a always absent even if I'm well and I could have always go to school super late. Everyday I tried hard to do my best for my kids and for the school. I work 6 days a week even if I had a choice just to have that 5 days of work. I recall then when I was working in a bank I really did miss the fun in school. Teaching is not only a profession but it is a vocation. I listed a lot of things that makes me happy but those things that I listed are just things I play, read, and do while I'm not working in school pretty ironic since the things I listed are the things that are not supposed to be brought in school. I make sure to relax and enjoy life to meet the balance. All work without play makes one dull and boring. Have a happy week my friend.