My Favorite Disney Movie

I got this picture from a Walt Disney Calendar. Monsters, Inc. is one of my favorite Disney-Pixar movies. It is about friendship and love. It is a heart-warming, tear jerking, hilarious and entertaining movie I have ever seen. If you haven’t seen it yet better grab a copy of your own.

Art Works

These artworks are painted by my nephew Rafael Iñigo Laya-Tian when he was four years old.He has great passion in art. He loves sketching, drawing and painting different kinds of cars, airplanes and trains.

Just Take Notice

A mothers’ role is to rear and care for her offspring. She is the one that feeds, protect and comfort her baby. This picture reminds me that mother’s role is a heroic work it is in nature that truly a mother’s love could never be equaled to anything in the world. This picture was taken courtesy of my co-teacher Mrs. Fritzie Lynn Tadlas-Berza in Philippine Eagle Farm in Davao City.

Walking on Clouds

I'm walking on clouds today because I got a chance to be with my best friend. If only time could not pass i would stay and be with him. It was really nice of him to help me with our tree planting project. I'm so inspired and happy I could not describe how i really feel but i know that it really feels good to be with him.

I Wish

I wish i could hold on to whatever things I'm holding on to.

I wish i could endure more, now that I feel that I'm going to give up.

I wish i could just turn back time, now that I found out that there is no more time left for me.

I wish i could be happier than I wish for now that I can't find reasons to be happy

Now that I'm so down I wish i could not fail to succeed to this plight I'm in . I'm going to fight and make my wish come true and make it to realization.

Message to YOU

Hi friends I hope i could help you in some ways possible. yet I know you are far a way from me just always think that I'm always be there for you in spirit. be assured of my prayer. take care always and never, ever give up. Life is beautiful. Life is too short to be wasted just enjoy and have fun. If you need a friend you can count on me. Problems may come and go but always remember that everything happens for a reason. The rain may shed raindrops but after that it will also send as rainbow. look into the positive side. God loves and He is the key to every mystery that happens in our lives. We just got to trust HIM. God bless and always keep the faith.

My wild imagination-A poem about the bud

I'm like a bud that was pulled by an innocent child in the garden where full of bud's like me were yet to bloom.
Yet my destiny is to bloom in no time. It's either to choose if I'm going to die or to hold on to the waters i'm in.
It would be my choice if I'm going to stay as a bud or open myself and bloom as I should be.
It was hard, I have to think and find ways for me to survive for me to live or just let things be and give in to the risk of drowning myself and die.

As time goes by luckily, i have survived, endured and surpass my plight. Through all the difficulties, I know that it made me stronger and faithful to someone who is greater than me.

poem 2007

I love

I love making mistakes because it reminds me that I'm not perfect.
I love letting go because it taught me how to say goodbye.
I love being criticized by other people because it taught me to be humble.
I love being rejected it taught me to love myself.
I love being different because it made me realize that I'm unique.
I love change because it taught me how to become a better person.
I love all these things because it molds and forms me to become a real person inside me.

THE LESSON I LEARNED.

As I recall the first time I step in the grounds of my new school. I’m not quite in favor of the idea of having a classmate of the opposite sex for the fact that I came from an exclusive school for girls. I feel so awkward about that. I did somehow have three weeks of adjustment to the new environment. Crowded campus, It’s like a melting pot of different kinds of individuals with different backgrounds and different attitudes. The atmosphere is quite more like a very busy street with people around it and teachers have different and unique strategies and styles in teaching more likely they are all M.A. graduates and some proceeded to Ph.D. and luckily they somehow succeeded with it. (Most of them are Doctor’s of Philosophy). Somehow even if I got shocked and got very depressed of the situation, Luckily I found friends, real friends. I cope with all the things I encountered. Those times I got rejected, those times that I failed in my subjects, those times I felt so alone and those times I felt the hatred within myself. After four years stay, I did it. I learned more about life; I learned how to cope with all the stressed, frustrations, failures, rejections and insults I have taken. The most significant thing I learned which I didn’t learned with an A+ grade is the lesson that teaches me to accept guys (Opposite sex), learned to appreciate and somehow love them in their brighter side. As far as I can remember there was a time I met somebody that changed my whole perspective about guys. I used to hate men, I used to cursed them, kill them by my looks (I stare at them) and never recognized them as somebody capable of becoming my friends. I failed to remember that my father and my brother are guys then I was wrong, I used to enjoy hating men until my best friend told me to give them a chance why not maybe men are not really that bad. Until I met this cute and lovable guy, that was way back 1997. I still can recall what happen that year its when the time I knew about the real stories of the past, it’s when the time I got a memorable date on valentines day and it’s the time when it made me realized that men are not really that bad. Yes, indeed, I still can picture it out and narrate in detailed what happened. I’m in-charge with the reservation and other important things in our cultural play. All my classmates are busy in practicing their parts and all of them have their own tasks including me. In that play we need rifles. The answer was that we have to borrow rifles from the ROTC office. It’s about 8:00 o’clock in the evening. I’m just watching all of the participants in the cultural play while they are practicing, suddenly my teacher gave me a task to go to the ROTC office to pass a letter, its like a permission letter to let the education department borrow some rifles. At first I was very hesitant to go inside the office especially that guys surrounded the office. I’m a little bit scared of getting inside, but I have no choice but to go inside and give the letter to the officer on duty. It was just a snap of a finger and a wink of an eye when suddenly a man approached us. (Actually I’m with my classmate) It was a very big smile and sparkling smiley eyes, which I ever saw in that day. It was the first time I saw somebody so sweet and gentle. To think that I don’t know him and that he is a total stranger to me. My heart beats fast, my body begun to sweat so hard and I’m out of words to say (speechless). Oh, no. I was thinking that is this a miracle or just a way for me to realize that not all guys are bad as what I always think. Then he began to say Hi! How are you? What can I do for you? (In Tagalog) I don’t usually speak in Tagalog because I’m not used to. As what I have said I’m totally tongue-tied. I can’t speak and my hands are getting colder. Without any words to say I directly gave the letter to him. He gave us instructions in what to do. After being done with our tasks then it’s about time to say goodbye. Jackie and I never made plans of saying goodbye but he did it to us. He said bye! Be back soon! Immediately after we went out of the office my heart floats with amazement and happiness. I don’t know why, it was a mystery I actually told my classmate that I wanted that guy to be my friend. After that incident my perspective in guys changed. I learned that not all guys are bad and they are not perfect that they are also people like me. Yes, like me who have feelings and capable of committing mistakes. As time pass me by I never thought our path would cross. I can’t believe it. I never expected it. Was it just a coincidence or was it just because of fate. I couldn’t figure it out. I just don’t have any clue as what is the real explanation of the whole thing. I might not find the real answers to the questions I asked but it won’t matter anymore. I admit that the feeling grows stronger everyday especially that slowly I got to know the real person behind that cute smile he had, that every single day we see each discovering what it is there hidden inside our hearts and that everyday I couldn’t help reminiscing the past. I always did bear in my mind that I could never love somebody in my entire life because of my motto that to be free is to be alone. If I really look into to those words it wouldn’t make any sense at all. Thinking of it is not right. We are here in this world to love and to loved. I might have wasted my life numbing myself and closing the doors to those who love me but I know it’s not too late to make up to all the mistakes I committed in the past. I’ve been very cruel to guys. That’s the fact that until now I’m still a member of the SISA-NBSB club (Single and Satisfied - No boyfriend since birth club). I could say that I only like people once in a blue moon. It is rare and unusual for me to like guys. The guy I like is the luckiest of all. Right now, I’m very much in love with him even if there is no chance for me to tell him how much I appreciate him as a person and even if he had no clue that I like him. I guess it would be better for me to keep my little secret to him. I just got to hold on to the feeling and seize the day. Savor the moments otherwise time will pass me by. Accepting that there could never be the two us. What is important is that he was able to change me and he was able to set me free from the narrow mindedness I had before. That even for once in my life I met somebody I admired the most that I will always cherished in my mind.

I fall in love with a Gay

I didn’t plan it nor did I dictate my heart to fall in love with him. It just happens and I have no one to blame but my foolish heart. I never felt this way before it’s like magic. I can’t explain what I’m feeling inside could this be love or was it only me who feels this way. I wouldn’t care. I know that deep in my heart he got a space in my heart. Whatever happens I will always love him for who he is and for what he have become as a person. There are a lot of questions that bothers me that still remains a mystery. But I’m hoping someday I would know the reason why, why I fall for him. No one could ever tell how long will I feel this way. Yet I’m not afraid or ashamed to admit it because I know deep in my heart that this feeling is true. No matter how long it takes I’m going to wait for the right time to say this to him and No matter how he rejects me and make me feel bad of my love for him I’m still going to bare the pain just to let him know the real thing. I know I don’t even exist to him it’s ok what matters most is that I discover that I can love somebody that I’m not numb. The thing is I don’t expect him to love me back just want him to know how I appreciate him as a person.

My thoughts 10 years ago

There were so many times I have ignored people’s feeling only considering mine. I never realize in so many reflections and realization that I got, they are not the only one who commits mistake I too makes mistake. Yikes, I do feel guilty about that. What I learned from my experience is that I must not only think of my own understanding and my own opinion but I must also look into the other side of it and consider some underlying reason behind that person or in such situation. I admit that’s the common mistake I always committed. It drives me crazy, maybe because I’m paranoid. My mind thinks in advance. It’s always been the case. Sometimes what I think could be right and many times it is wrong. When that happens I really hate myself because it would really ruined my day and I got too emotionally disturbed.

I really wanted to avoid this kind of attitude I got. Just these past few weeks, my teacher gave us our grades I’m quite unsatisfied with it. I can’t accept it then I started to turn my world into a chaos situation, I started saying bad things, cursing and uttering words of regret. Not knowing that our teacher have a miscalculations of our grades. Yikes, I feel so guilty receiving a nice grade. I feel so sorry for what I did. The keyword is this, we must not think of the bad things that will or might happen to us otherwise it just come to happen. We really don’t know what will happen. We must not judge things otherwise we are wrong. The point is that we must learn to be open-minded, to be positive thinkers, to be sensitive and to be very understanding at all times. But if things got to worst, we have no choice but to accept it, not only to the situation itself but also to the person involved and to the person who have hurt us. It’s hard especially if our pride overshadowed us and we don’t admit that we too have our shortcomings. Most of the time we are too selfish to look into the other side because we only consider our own feelings not knowing that we too have committed a mistake. We must always be aware of the action we take because otherwise we unconsciously hurt others feelings we don’t know maybe that person has problem or maybe that person also has unresolved issues in life. There is a popular saying that we people always expect what we can get from others not thinking of what we can give and how long we are going to give. Thinking that they didn’t accept us in the way we are and asking the question if in return did we also accept them of who they are?

Miracles

Miracles do happen. Yes, I do believe in miracles even though I just seldom experience miracles in my life. I always wanted to finish my masters’ degree. Whenever I do something I plan and worked for it. I didn’t expect that miracle will happen to me that day. I could still recall how I was coping with my depression because of some circumstances that my family is facing all these times. I felt like a hopeless case because whenever it is enrollment time I don’t get the subjects that are required for me because the school didn’t offer it. Let me say that I’m a veteran student in the department almost all of my classmates were already enrolled to a PhD class. I was left behind it’s not a race anyway it was my fault and my choice to stay, stop and relax for a couple of years. When I went to the office I felt so rejected and lost because I have to fill up again all the forms I have filled before and it was as if I’m new to the department. I got so embarrassed that I could no longer enroll myself because I already have exceeded three units in my major subjects. The secretary told me to see the dean to talk about my plight. I got so very nervous conversing with her miraculously everything went well. Surprisingly I never expected that I’m going to be taking my comprehensive exam this May. Wow! I never thought of taking the exam it was not with my plan at all. It was a shocking miracle to me. When I went out of the school, I immediately went to church to hear mass. Before the mass I joined a novena when suddenly I remembered that last month my co-teacher borrowed my calculator which I am using in my statistics class and she did not yet return the calculator. I thought of that calculator while I was kneeling down the kneeler. Then I transferred to another sit. When suddenly somebody sat beside me it was my co-teacher who borrowed my calculator and told me that she has been looking for ways to find me to return the calculator. I was really happy and surprise how God has planned everything for me that he allows me to take my comprehensive exam this year. I was touched by his kindness and grace despite of the trials and obstacles that I’m going through right now. God made me feel of his presence that time. I was moved to tears when I realized that God loves me. I found out that miracles do happen if we only believe.

A CALL FOR SENSIVITY

I always wanted to become a writer but I never was. Yes, my dream of following the footsteps of my grandfather was never fulfilled. Here is it, I finally got the guts of creating this little article I made to somehow fill my life long dream of becoming a writer.
As a young child I always taught by my parents to be sensitive. Yes, indeed for years of my existence in this world I always been very sensitive and observant of the things happening within myself, my family, my classmates and teachers in school, my friends, In the community I lived in and even to strangers I met.
I’m naturally sensitive because in our family we were brought up by our parents to be sensitive not just for ourselves but also for other people. I’ve been through a lot of things, I met people of different personalities and I have gone through a lot of situation that calls me to be sensitive especially when I have my immersion at Lumbia with the Matanog family.
I’m not perfect as well I also did commit mistakes especially when I got my moods I failed to recognized that my mother would be disappointed of me. When I’m through and when my mood is back to normal that’s when I realized that what I did was wrong that was too late. I wasn’t able to be aware that she would be hurt when I did that thing. There was a time when I realized that I have given her too much pain and agony inside her that her tears fall down in her cheeks. It made me open my heart and my mind that I should be sensitive at all times even if I got my moods I should think first of what I ought to do and what I have to say. No matter how bad is my mood. I also learned how to control and how to prevent it by just having that self-control and self-discipline. It takes time but it’s worth the effort of trying to be a sensitive person at all times.
The word “sensitive” is often been misinterpreted. Yes there are people who are sensitive in an immature way that even for a small thing they would immediately get hurt and touched by their egos. Being sensitive in a mature way calls for a person with great patience, endurance and humility.
Just recently I met people who are very insensitive. It was so hard dealing with them because it doesn’t makes me the real person I am, it made me someone who ignores a little shortcomings and simply made me a person who doesn’t care for others feelings. Lucky me! I’m still on the right track. I’m still the person with the sense of sensitivity. Sometimes it just got into my nerves. I shouldn’t be giving any attention to them but I can’t, since I care for them and I guess it’s my mission in life to help them change to be sensitive, to be real and to be someone who would empathize to other people’s shoe.
I wonder why there are people who are insensitive. To think that we are all called to be sensitive. No matter who we are, where we from, what we’ve been through and what we would become. We must be sensitive to the feelings of other people; we must be sensitive to the needs of others and be aware of the words we say. We might not noticed that people would be hurt, exploited, insulted and rejected if we were tactless and impulsive of our action. We must always bear in our minds that they are also people like us. Yes like us. TAO TULAD KO, TULAD MO MAY PUSO AT MAY

DAMDAMIN,

Peace

I been searching for something missing in my life.Something that no one could dictate,Something I cannot demand from others and something I cannot buy.It is something that can be found deep inside ones soul and something that comes from within.I'm searching for peace. Peace that comes from deep within me.It is not a gift but a choice, it not fake but it should be real and true. It is something to look forward to. It is everybody's concen and responsibilty. But how can I found peace? If what lies beyond me are hatred and war. I want peace, I need peace and I hungered for peace. What should be done? if only we have a forgiving heart, a loving heart and an unselfish heart that beats not only for oneself But for others surely peace will reign in our hearts.

At The Shadow of Loneliness

I've been searching for the real happinessthat I never felt.I've been wandering around in circlesfinding the real meaning of my life and myworth.I've been through sorrows of deep wounds that never heals.I'm no way out of this lock cage I'm in.This burdens I'm carrying whichpoisons my mind of not to go on and to end it all. but I know that deep inside me therestill,HOPE!

Love At First Sight

I have no idea why of all people,you are the one who seem to be different from the others. I can't figure it out why of all people. you are the one that makes me feel different.I'm puzzled why I like your style, the way you carry yourself, the way you smile and simply the way you are. I'm confused why I like you. To think I don't know your name, I don't know where you from and what you've been through.Is this magic or a mystery? I really don't have any clue, but all I knew and remembered is that when I first saw you, I fell in love with you

You

You are my life and you are my strength,You give me hope and the reason to live.You are the key who open my heart to see what's inside of me.You melt this heart of mine that was numb for years. You made me appreciate the sunshine in the morning light and the trees sways touch by the gentle breeze of the wind.You are the one the only one for me without you, life will never be as colorful as the rainbow in my sky.

Failure

Failure is a part of our life except for the lucky ones but i'm pretty sure that no one ever did not experience such. Experiencing it was a painful thing yet in the end when everything is already ok we realize that everything happens for a reason and that everything happens for a purpose. we might not know it that that point in time but sooner or later you'll find out. Failure is just passing everything will just go as it should be. take time to reflect and discern what to do next time to avoid failure this is only one thing is for sure, through failure we will learn from our mistakes, there will be many things that we discover in our self and that somehow will know that we are strong to accept such pain. In failure there is a opportunity to improve and be better the next time.

The Calling

I seek and now I have find the path that I want to go. I choose it and live it, until I found themystery of it.I stand to the choice I made and I havelearned a lot of it.This is the future I have work for, this ismy dream I always dreamed of.Life in this world is not that easy, Tearsmight fall, my heart might aches and myhead would ache.Everyday is a growing opportunity. life's challenges is part of living,a partof achieving our dream snd to strive to dobetter

A TRUE FRIEND

A true friend is Someone you can lean on andsomeone you can depend on.A true friend is the one who shares with you all the laughters, tears in your life.Someone that you can talk to, cry with and walk within the path of truth.A true friend is someone who takes care of you. Someone who thinks of you when you when you are far away.A true Friend is someone who never leaves you even at the middle of the battle until the last blood you'll shed.A true friend is someone you can trust. A true friend is there for you in joys sadness and trials together you'll walkhand in hand on the joyous mystery of life.
Maria Carmela Sibayan Laya

LIFE

Life is beautiful.Each day is a challenge.Each day is an opportunity.Life is time.It is a chance to do good.A chance to make up for the bad times.Each day is a new hope.Each day is a new beginning.Life is a game to play with.Sometimes we lose and sometimes we win.It is a choreography of steps.Each step is a risk.Each step is a gamble.Life is full of surprises.It is unpredictable. We'll never know what we've become and what is going to happen to us but for sure life is choice.

What I Want...

I want to escape but I can't go.I want to give up but I'm still holding on.I want to close my eyes and never open it buteven if I close my eyes I still can see clearly what lies beyond me.I want to end it all but I'm still startingand still growing. I want to be happy but I only think I'm sad.I want to be contented but I only think I'm not contented. I want to have everything onlyto find out that I'm complete. I want to be better only to find out that I want to be perfect.Things are not happening the way I want but things happens the way I need them and the way for me to grow and be the person that Godwants me to be.

Just For a Thought

I look at life as I see a dying person fighting for his life.

I feel how love is strong as I comfort a broken hearted friend.

I notice growth as I look at the tree that was once shorter than me.

I see light as the sun shines covered the sky.

I have faith when I feel I have no one to turn to.

I see hope as each day unfolds my life.

In every breath I take, I know I'm not alone.

Ode To God
You're invisible as a wind but I can see youin others.I can't touch you but I can feel you throughthe gentle breeze of the wind.I can't hear you but I can understand what you are telling me.I've wanted to see your face, I'm longing totalk to you and to share everything what Iwant to say to you.Yet you're too far from me but I feel your presence.Then I look up to the sky and I realize thatI shall not look for you nowhere but here inside my heart.