Complicated

I got a new class to teach tomorrow. I may have fewer subject to teach now since I gave the two additional subjects back but I got a new class to teach with. Adjustment again but I'm ok especially that I got to teach my favorite subject in this new class. yehey! sad to say one of the teachers in my class is being pulled out due to some reason that I could not control anymore if only she did not do such a thing she could still be teaching my class. I'm also sad thinking too that I could no longer teach her class. I will miss the kids and all the fun that we did in the class but that is life after all. I have to help the school instead giving additional burden to madam. I maybe saying ok but deep inside I felt a deep lost in losing maam lilian in the class. She is a good teacher, a traditional type one a perfect disciplinarian and a smart teacher too. Sometimes I don't like the idea that we give much favor to the kids. They could do stuff in the class which we don't like and whatever happens still people would protect them even if what they are doing is wrong. The blame is all put to the teacher then if the teacher commits a mistake then they will file charges against the teacher from child abuse. I'm not saying we should not give benefits to the kids no not still the child has all the rights to enjoy living ones life what I'm after is that disciplining should be distinct from abuse. Kids now is much different from kids before. They tease teacher, They do things without any fear of hurting anyone and they have no focus in what they need to really do with their life. Often teacher who discipline kids were being charge with child abuse without considering the side of the teacher. My best advice to parents is to discipline their kids first before they enter the class. The teacher's job should only be teaching the kids to learned and to grow into a mature and responsible child. I guess what is hard is that we become like parents to them. The painful fact is that even if we treat them like our own they won't see the value of it maybe for some kids but for others who have unresolved issues they won't give importance to the efforts extended to them. This the sad fact anyway they have their own life and choices to choose we could not force ourselves to be accepted and be reciprocated.

Moving on

I'm moving on now. I have to go on with life even if my sister is not here. I have a lot of things to do and i have to accomplish a lot of things. I have a lot of task to do too. I wish I could finish them all next week. School is quite frustrating especially to those who care less of their education. I have no choice but to do my job on reminding them everyday that they must do good in their studies. Speaking of the current situation of the country honestly, my heart breaks seeing those people who lost lives and victims of a natural disaster. I hope and pray that all those who are missing are found and all those people who lost their love ones to remain strong and just hold on to whatever they could hold on to. I know for sure that God is there and He will never leave us.

The Final Day

I never wish this to happen but I need to let go and say goodbye for awhile for my sister and her family. I did not go with them in the airport since I still have a class. I was the one who prepared breakfast that day when they are going to Manila. I was so sad then imagine I made history because I'm the only person who got teary eyes while chopping garlic instead of the onions hehehe I was late I was supposed to be on leave but I got no choice because the day before that I was sent to another school science competition and I wasn't able to have a class then. Life has to go on I always thought before that I could not survive with it but I was wrong I know that I could get over this soon not now.

Activities of the Day

I got a real busy day today. I went to school for our reading tutorial then we also have our feeding activity after the tutorial. After lunch time I joined the Girls Scouts Escoda Day in the afternoon which I should supposed to attend to the whole day, yet I fail to be there since my assistant coordinator in reading got sick she can't be in school to monitor the pupils as well as the college students who are tutors of the kids. The attendance was ok. Everything went well a million thanks to Barangay Councilor Cabili of Barangay Camaman-an for being there and did the preparation of food with the barangay nutrition workers and with the parents, Nadine and Glou my student volunteers since Sir Maeng the NSTP facilitator was not there because he got other obligation to accomplish with and most especially Maam Christine, Maam Flordeliz, Maam Nida, and Maam Tita for sharing with us their rooms for the tutorials. I thank God that it went well for today. Congratulations for a job well done.

Time is up

In a few days from now, my sister and her family is going to Canada. I know for sure that I'm going to miss them especially my sister. Ate lilet is the only person that I could talk to in whatever I feel, bothered with and even financial problems aside from tatay since Mand mopsy moved to the states. I wish her and her family a happy and prosperous life there in Canada. I know that I could survive without her but it will take time for me to adjust to it that is life after all. I've been through this I know that in time I will be ok.

the truth is...

I really know what is the exact root of the problem why kids are passive and it seems like they wanted to play forever. I wonder how I could let them see the good things in life that they could possibly achieve if only they will do good in their studies. The truth is... it is hard for them to dream when all they ever experienced is such difficulties in life. I can't blame them for not aiming high and for not doing well in their studies it is just the matter in how good I am as teacher to motivate them for them to do good and be better learners in school. The exposure that they got at home and in their community is more strongly would influence them. I can't force them maybe in time they will realized the value of education as they walk to their journey in their life. Transforming an individual is a process it is not an abrupt change. Everything happens in a right time.

Double trouble

I'm still in the state of shock when I found out they are giving me two new subjects to teach. I have no choice but to accept it. It is quite alarming to know that I'll be fully loaded. It is in me that I could make the load lighter as possible. I know I got to adjust with this. Madam told me to accept it because for the reason that I am younger than them thinking that I know that adding two subject is a burden to my part. I don't need to worry I know as what I always say that everything happens for a reason. I know that I will learned from it and I could benefit from it soon. It is charged to experience. I'm trying to be happy. I'm holding on to my wish list. I'm sure that all I wish for will come true. God bless you my friend please pray for me I need it badly hehehe

Busy bee again

I got so busy again yesterday that is why I got tired today. I wish there is no class for me to rest. I have no choice but to report and stay normal as it is. I'm starting to think of options which I should do to my life. Today the priest said in the mass that we should know thy self for us to know our purpose here on earth. I know for sure that I'm meant to be a teacher but I wonder why sometimes I feel that I'm still looking and searching for something that really makes me happy other than teaching. I guess I just needed to tell myself that I'm doing well that I'm in a right track and that nothing is perfect. Whatever imperfections I'm experiencing right now are just obstacles in my path that I need to take for me to grow and be a better person as I should be.

Mysterious woman

Last summer our neighbor died of a motorcycle accident. I was surprised when they broke out the news because that same night I saw her and her husband riding with their motorcycle. I wonder why that happens but the weird part was that yesterday I actually saw a woman who physically looks like her. She looks like her I got scared because I knew for sure that she is already dead. I hope it just her look a like thing. I guess she wanted me to pray for her. I got stuck to where I was standing when I saw that woman taking a walk wearing a black shirt and a white jogging pants i felt weird maybe perhaps it was just in my imagination. I always hear and sometimes see weird beings but I was hoping that I will no longer feel their presence and be connected to them but no matter what they are here and I just got to let them be part of my life. As long as they are good to me It is ok with me.

Thinking Positive thoughts

When things got so very depressing I always try to change it to different mode. It helps sometimes but sometimes it doesn't. I hope that everything will be fine soon. I'm not losing hope I'm still thinking that things will get better. Everything happens for a reason whatever that is I know it is for the better. My thesis proposal is still sleeping and trying to survive. I got to move now after this Division Science Competition I could now focus to it. I still could not find ways to insert it in my schedule but hopefully I could divide my time. I have to be positive that I could accomplish it before the semester ends. Things will change next week and I got to prepare myself. I have no choice but to accept that change it is for my own good. I know I will survive and I could adjust to it well. It make take time for me to be fully adjusted to the kind of situation but I know I will be fine soon. Pray for me

Reading Activity

Today I conduct an oral reading in English and Filipino. My kids got bored because they have to wait for their turn. I let them read individually. I found out that some of them are dyslexic, some of them are slow readers and some are non-readers. I could only pick kids that are good in reading. So sad but true. They need to practice and exposed themselves in reading. I can't blame myself in this situation but I got to do something about it. I've been busy lately of so many school activities I realized that I need to give time to them. I know I could do this with an extended patience and a little endurance. I need to work hard to achieve this I can do this I will do this. I'll help them improve how to read. I just hope that they are will to get help. God bless you.

Sunday Escapade

All I did today was to sleep and do nothing again. I got so very tired naturally because I worked 6 days a week. There is no class because it is the burial of the religious leader tomorrow. I wish I could accomplish the things I need to do. I thought I'll be relax now but I'm not I got to keep on going gonna keep on going no I'll never give up got to keep on going got to keep on going.

Instant

I got a very busy day. We have our launching of the feeding program and we officially start our reading tutorial. Me and maam Christine become an instant emcee. We didn't prepare any program it's funny because we don't know what to say hehehe. It went well and we end up successful today. I hope next Saturday kids will be all present again. I got sad of some pupils who were not able to join because I know that they are willing. Me and maam Christine are hoping to create a reading club for the non-readers and slow readers in the school. Hopefully our goal will be achieved soon. Have a happy weekend my friend.

Yes We Won!

This day marks history that We won in the Science Competition. Yes we made it in the Investigatory Project individual category. In the team we fail to make it. I hope that ate joy will not get disappointed to what happen. Anyway I did my part I guess everything I sacrificed is all worth it. In the sad part my quiz bee contestant did not make it to the first place they told me I should have let them help me but I know and they know for sure that it is their responsibility to review the kid and I am in charge to help the pupil for investigatory project but I just did the initiative to review the kid since July. I've been busy lately and they did not even bother to ask me. They did not even make a move to review the child. If it is really my fault then I just got to say SORRY. I hope I could forgive myself from committing such stupid mistake. I worked hard to review the child and help her in many ways maybe it is not yet her time to win the contest at least she got an experience. I hope I'll get over this I'm hurt of what happened. I just hope I could just forget everything about it.

Wandering around

I've been going around in circles trying to escape yet for sure I'm nowhere to go and there is no way out. I have to face whatever there is I need to resolve there is no turning back anyway I got to move on. I know it is not easy but I have to try. It's yna's birthday today. I got emotional when I remembered what happen last year. It's a turning point in my life then. I never knew that I could survive from that situation. I don't want to tell you now I'm sure I'm going to burst maybe next time I still can't get over it when It cross my mind. The birthday went well yna is now 2 I hope she grow up to be a good, intelligent and God fearing child. Tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for. God bless you my friend

Mixed Up

I can't explain how I feel right now I know that I've been feeling depress lately it's been four months now. I'm not doing something about it yet I'm alarmed that my family notice it. It affects me a lot I continue to ask guidance from God that he gave me the strength to go on. I'm counting the days and keep on thinking that things will get better soon. Now that I turned thirty I plan to change my routine I must make a way to have more time with God, Reflect a lot and to learn how to love myself more. I just got to think of happy thoughts anyway for me to avoid feeling lonely. I know that happiness is just a state of mind yet when things just keeps getting rough everyday I can't help it but breakdown. I have to endure this or else as I always say I will end up a loser. I don't want to give up I have fought a lot of battles in life and won a lot of it. I've been through painful and difficult moments and learned a lot of lesson from it.Now that I have come too far I believe that It is not definitely the time to end up everything besides I know things will not last forever. Looking back at the life that I have lived I can say that I have survived. I pass the test and now I know in this new battle I'm in I would surpass and resolve it.

Amazing

My topic today is about the life cycle of the frog. It was funny because before I started the lesson i integrate Filipino subject to Science. I did a storytelling in Filipino about the Frog Prince the kids were very attentive and they even come up with a lot of questions today. I'm happy because they were able to understand the lesson. The value I integrate in the lesson is being kind to others, fulfilling ones promise and most importantly is to embrace change in our life. Sounds weird but I realized that I need to follow this virtues too especially in embracing the changes in my life and in myself. It states there that for about 8 to 10 weeks the frog undergoes metamorphosis. I told them we too human being experience metamorphosis in many ways. When we change it must be for the better and not for the worst. It was an amazing day for me I hope my day tomorrow will be much more better than today. God bless