I need a break

I'm tired. I hope to rest. I need a break now. Everything is mixed up but I'm still hoping I could fix everything. I wish to explore to a new adventure in life if only I could go out to where I am now. I could have done it before but something is pulling me back. Something is telling me to stay. I'm asking for a sign if I'll stick to where I am now or to go and find the real path I should take. I've been numb and stagnant for years now. I need to move on and to have courage to explore and take the risks. The risk that I have been running from for years but no matter what and how I try there is always someone and something that stops me from moving on. Maybe I'm destined to be like this forever. I'm quite confused now but I need to pretend that I'm ok that I'm fine and to see the brighter side of life even if only a spark of light is the only hope I'm holding on too. I'm almost giving up but I have faith and trust in God that is for sure why I'm still strong as I am now. God will take care of everthing. He will never leave me.